Sharing Joy: The Universal Antidote to Gloom
At IWBI our team has been reflecting lately on some of the ways we can tackle the feelings of anxiety and overwhelm that many of us have experienced over the last year.
In leading teams and now an entire organization I’ve come to understand that it’s important to bank as much resilience as possible in good times, so we are better able to withstand any storms that blow our way. In 2020, our collective personal and professional reserves have been depleted by a pandemic-induced health crisis, the economic crunch that followed in its wake and a host of other insults and injuries to both people and planet.
We’ve never been in greater need of mental and physical resolve.
Yet, stockpiling spiritual and emotional capital can be tricky when joyful experiences feel few and far between. And even if you do manage to find your pleasures amidst the pain, you may be self conscious about basking on your raft of happiness, when it feels as if all around you, people are struggling to stay afloat.
In my recent piece on practicing gratitude, as a part of a deliberate effort to boost positive thoughts and feelings when the negative threatens to overwhelm, I briefly touched on how even fleeting moments of happiness are often tainted by feelings of guilt during a crisis.
In theory, joy shouldn’t be complicated — but in practice it so often is. How can we legitimately enjoy episodes of good fortune when so many are denied it? It’s why we are reticent about sharing news of a promotion with a friend who can’t seem to land a job or the excitement over a relationship milestone when someone close to us is struggling through a painful breakup.
Many people have found ways to thrive during the pandemic but are unable to fully celebrate even the small successes because they feel a sense of shame.
If we let fear dictate our response, we’re missing an opportunity not only to allow happiness to suffuse our own consciousness but to pass it on to others who are in need of good news themselves. We need to be reassured that in the simple act of sharing joy, we can also spread a valuable antidote to the negativity that’s creeping into all our lives. Throughout 2020, my coach Kasey has consistently encouraged me to give myself permission not just to be happy, but to be visibly and proudly happy. And in doing so, inspire others to do the same.
Embracing happiness also opens us up to being more future-focused. As we make our New Year’s resolutions or simply consider how we can keep moving forward, we can start by acknowledging that while COVID-19 has upended our lives, it doesn’t have to derail our hopes and dreams.
I had a revelatory experience in the midst of the pandemic. In September, my parents left home to go on a month-long RV trip. After a period of pre-quarantining and rigorous testing, my sister and I blended our pods and relocated to their house. The pure joy I felt when I was able to hug my 18-month-old niece was profound.
That month had a significant impact on my approach to happiness — spurring me on to prioritize that which sparks joy and to be unapologetic in experiencing it.
Marisa and I decided to get married because we were ready to take the next step forward in our relationship and we didn’t want COVID-19 to stop us. We wondered if others would be able to share in our good news or if we should even share it at all. One by one we started making calls to friends and family and almost everyone of them had the same response: they thanked us for shining a light into the darkness and giving them something to celebrate in 2020. Though she’s never had more on her plate, my best friend leapt at the chance to officiate our wedding, telling us how overjoyed she was to focus her energy on something so purely positive.
It wasn’t the wedding of our dreams but it was perfect nonetheless.
As strange as it seems, Marisa and I agree that we are happier than we’ve ever been in our lives. We’re so grateful for the many people who fought long and hard for our right to marry — and feeling buoyed by the support of friends, colleagues and well-wishing strangers alike. Embarking on a lifelong journey with your soulmate is a cause for celebration at any time but doing so this year somehow feels like an even greater triumph for love.
Rachel Hodgdon is President and CEO of the International WELL Building Institute (IWBI), a public benefit corporation and the world’s leading organization focused on deploying people first places to advance a global culture of health.
